morning drive

There is a highway in the sky today
Printed on the blue,in softest white
You are not there upon it's path today
...that's right, that's right
We'll keep you here
'Long as we may
Heaven kept you from
It's celestial freeway
We cry and whisper our thanks out loud
You'll not ride yet,
..that road...that cloud
Hold tight,we do to you
You'll not venture on unto the light above
New sight,we prove thru you,...and love,..and love.

Awaken!!

I received a text message this afternoon that informed me that Nic was awake!! My friend said that he was managing his own pain med's and that they would take out the feeding tube tonight!!
A miracle has occurred and we have all bared witness to the awe that life holds in it's hands. I haven't spoken with him yet. I don't want to overwhelm, but i do want to hear his voice again. A few nights ago, the thought of never hearing it again was just too much to bear. Thank the heavens that i didn't have to. Tomorrow i will get the hospital's address and send him the water colored cards my son and i have made for him.
Soon the "random-energies"(tm.) will have to get together and do some serious fundraising brainstorming! There's a good $150,000 to go,not to mention up-and-coming costs for this private hospital and the anti-rejection drugs.(and I'm sure there's more.)
But he's come this far,money shouldn't be a problem when living is so much more important.So far I've thought of
1.rummage sales
2.raffles
3.art auctions
??? Any ideas?

Liver long and prosper

So, Nic got a new liver!! I got the call Saturday night that he was going in for surgery. What a relief! Though it seems with each new bit of good news comes another tide of praying and anxiety. It will never be done with. I won't feel okay until we sit down to break bread together, drinking purified water and laughing out loud. His face is constantly in my mind. I see him when we first met,..so young and vivacious. He knew all the words to "slim shady". He knew the way out of a dark shadow. He was instantly kindred, an old soul.
I see him later, more worn by the world, seemingly waiting for everyone to catch up to his knowledge and calm.
The world has done many a quick-change to us all. This experience has given me a new opportunity to make contact again. I think that i had forgotten how we could all affect the world and each-other for the better. Now it's time to grab-up those loose ends and once again be a part of something greater than singularity can be.
...to weave with understanding and non-judgement,a web that will catch us if any of us should fall. Join me in the weaving.

life worth waiting for

So,..Nic is in the private hospital in nebraska now. Half of the necessary 300 grand has been collected. He is in a coma. I've been told that's not a bad thing. I'm trying very hard to grasp all of this, though. The docters are hoping to have a liver for him this week-end.
I'm trying not to hope for someone else's demise ,while anxiuosly awaiting news of a liver coming his way.
For what do I pray? I pray that he can last long enough to wait for a donar. I pray for his friends and community, and (god bless them) strangers to give all they can and fundraise in new and phenominal ways to get the other 150 grand to pay for the surgery that has been held hostage awaiting it's ransome.
I wonder if Nic knows how much we love him. We haven't kept tabs on each-other well enough. When did the random intuitive phone calls stop? When did we start telling ourselves that our hearts were'nt relevant enough to share?...that our probems were'nt big enough to bother our friends with? How many times have i myself stopped short of one number on the phone to complete a call to complain about my simple woes? But isn't that what friends are for? Did Nic need to talk to someone and fear the brush-off? Now that we are "grown-up's" ,it seems that we don't reach out anymore, but i don't think that it's because we don't need to. The rationalization machine in our minds has become oh so sophisticated! It talks us down and drags us down and leaves us alone with our thoughts too much these days. We all mourn the death of one of our own in a different way. But when it becomes destructive when do we tell someone to stop? I hear they drank too much the night of our Elmo's passing. Didn't they see more clearly their own mortality? If we can't try to interfere with demise, how do we call ourselves friends? It's time to actually grow up. To admit we weren't born knowing the answers...and questioning things outloud when we feel we should. I see so many in the world giving up on life because they think they have to...that the world will survive without them. It will never be the same. All of the people we may touch with our light in the future, they go on into darker paths than if we had intercepted them with our love.
Love is not trite or childish or assumed under a hippie guise. Love saves lives every day. I will love as i see fit, and probably more than some people think i ought to, but i will not be consumed by doubt's strangulation hold.I will not be diminished by embarresment to share my love. This love may just help to heal whomever is touched by it. This love is mine to give,and give it i shall.

no insurance=death

is it right that some-one with liver failure should die because they can't afford a transplant?My friend nic is 26 and has not long to live. Medicaid won't insure transplants in those over 21. His family had to come up with as much cash as is humanly possible and still they're short $25,000. They won't operate without the full amount. The fact that it costs 300 grand is outrageous to begin with. The surgeons should do it pro bono. There should be a surgeons pool where they all put in their names and when cases like nic's arrise, they pull a surgeon from the pool and they just do it!!Not all their work should be for free, but some of it definately should be. Our Healthcare system is very very broken, and i fear i shall lose a dear friend to it if we can't find 25 grand.Anyone with that kind of cash need a tax deduction?